Where the FUCK have I been?

Can't believe it's been years since I've used this.  Time I got back into it because I got shit to say and my kids are old enough to understand most the words that come out of my mouth these days.  Not cool.  Not cool @ all

What if I Could Control the Weather

Seriously ... what if I could?

• Would I be selfish and only have nice weather around me all the time and divert bad weather to other places?
  
• Would I have clear skys and sun each and every day?
• Would I only allow it to rain at night when I'm asleep?
• Would I smite people with severe thunderstorm warnings and/or tornado warnings if I felt they had wronged me in some way?
• Would I direct all hurricanes away from land?

OMG! and what about lightening? I soooo know what I would use it for. Killing

• Drug Lords
  
• Terrorists
• Hookers (but only the ones knowingly spreading disease)
  
• Child Molesters
  
• Murderers (reviewed on a case by case basis)
• Greedy Wall Street Brokers
• Elected Government Leaders who use their position for personal gain rather then working for the individuals that put them into office
• Oil Company CEOs, CFOs, C-any other Os
• hmmm.... will add more to this list as they come to me. There is so much evil, i know this list will grow.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

random pic i found on the web that amused me:

So i'm sitting her thinking about men, and if i were dating at the moment, how would i know if he were the one. And I came up with something that would let me know that he accepted and loved me, even at my most retardedness.
What is this criteria? you query ...
Well, the right guy will be the one that will let me draw a face on his dick with a sharpie. I mean, is it wrong that i want to add a little personality to the guy? If I'm going to be down there anyway, I'd like to put a face with the name (assuming it has a name)
Doesn't seem like it should be that big of a deal, right?

I want candy!

I want candy, but since there isn't any around, I had to settle for some 'eye candy'
mmmm hmmmm

<-------- talk about bringing SEXY back!!













Now ... a little theater for you :D

random reader: "Wow GurlGenius, get laid much?"
GurlGenius: "ummm.... as a matter of fact, no ... no I don't, dick"
random reader: "ooooOOO sensitive about that are ya?"
GurlGenius : "suck it faggo"
random reader: [snickers]
random reader: "well, I'd love to stay GurlGenius, but I have to go have slutty sex now. I'll ttyl"
GurlGenius: [bombs ur house]

Don't worry ...

Wow ... so much to say and so little time to say it in right now...
My kids are going to be getting out of school shortly, so I am going to have to leave and pick them up. But do not despair, for I shall return shortly. Maybe then, I will begin to share the secrets of the universe which only I know .....